What do you think?

[Sunsettommy]

I found this in a political forum.

Quote:Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.

The second responds, Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.

The third surgeon says, No, I really think librarians are the best; Everything inside is in alphabetical order.

The fourth surgeon chimes in; You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed; You're all wrong. Liberals are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable.

[strogoff]

[Goose52]

I'm going to swipe that one.

[Richard111]

Old school friends


Rachel, Clare and Samantha haven't seen each other since High School.
They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.

Rachel arrives first, wearing camel Versace. She orders a bottle of chilled Chablis.
Clare arrives shortly afterwards, in grey Chanel. After the required ritualised kisses she joins Rachel in a glass of Chablis.
Then Sam walks in, wearing a faded old Barbour anorak, blue jeans and Wellington boots. She too shares the wine.

Rachel explains that after leaving school and graduating from Oxford in Classics she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of London's leading law firms. They live in a 4000 sq ft house in North London, where Susanna, the daughter, attends drama school. They have a second home in the hills above Monte Carlo.

Clare graduated from King's College and became a Consultant Gynaecologist. Her husband, Clive, is a leading A&E Consultant. They live in Dulwich and have a second home in Florida.

Sam explains that she left school at 17 and ran off with her boyfriend, Ben. They run a tropical bird park in Norfolk and grow their own vegetables. Ben can stand four parrots, side by side, on his willy.

Half way down the third bottle of Chablis, several hours later, Rachel blurts out the her husband isn't Tim, he's Tom and he's a clerk for Islington Council. They live in a terraced house in Muswell Hill and keep a caravan in France.

Clare, chastened and encouraged by her old friend's honesty, explains that she and Clive are nurses in King's College. They live in Herne Hill and have a timeshare in Orlando.

Samantha says that the fourth parrot has to stand on one leg.